Some Goodbyes Happen While We’re Still Here
Watching the people I love walk away
Hello everyone. Happy New Year just in case we haven’t said it to each other.
Since the end of December, I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflection, thinking deeply about many things.
Where I went wrong.
What I did wrong.
How I can be better, and how I can show up better.
2025 blew hard, like a storm. I didn’t build enough gravity to stay grounded. I became too used to the feeling of watching the people I love walk away.
It wasn’t because of pride. For some—sad as it may be—our values no longer aligned. Some friendships were cut off mentally, even while we were still physically present. With others, we became detached, less present in their world.
It felt like life was passing by while I sat in one place—motionless, just watching. That’s a different level of heartbreak.
I am deeply grateful for the friends who stayed, who held my hand, who understood that life was lifing. You all know yourselves. I’m grateful for every single one of you.
I want to say this clearly: friendship has no manual.
It’s two or more people making a pact to understand themselves and extend grace to each other. It requires adjustment—sometimes uncomfortable ones.
There is no growth without shedding what needs to be shed. Please shed it and move on. It’s not easy—trust me—but it’s worth it. Growth will take you to the places you’re meant to be; comfort keeps you in the same spot.
Friendship is not a popularity contest.
It’s sharing joys and sorrows.
It’s cheering each other on wholeheartedly while wishing for the same things.
It’s seeing the ugly in your friend—and in yourself—and holding it with care and fragility.
It’s saying:
“These are the areas I struggle with.”
“I’m sorry you felt that way—this is how I show love.”
“I’m sorry I was dismissive or inconsiderate; you’re too important to me.”
Friendship is about the people who climb over your walls—no matter how high—and sit cross-legged beside you in silence, letting you let it out.
Friendship is truly seeing and understanding someone. Some words don’t need to be spoken; they’re transcribed through connection.
Friendship requires an open heart and arms wide enough for bone-crushing hugs.
Friendship looks like showing up when your life is literally on fire—for your friend. It is service unto each other. Think of it like candles lighting one another.
Friendship feels like sending warm hugs through voice notes—the kind that wrap you in love even when you’re far apart.
And still, you could be all these things and not be the friend someone wants or chooses. Look inward. Don’t just change the player—change the game. But sometimes, change the player.
We often feel things before we see them. When that nudge comes, obey it. Pray about it.
I pray God gives us the strength to keep becoming and to keep carrying on.
🤎 You, friends.
Till next time.
Truly, Friendship has no manual